It's interesting how having so much "alone time" causes one to think. I mean I am always with the kids but without an adult to be conversing with throughout the day, I have lots of "thoughts" that just come and go. Poor Donny gets bombarded with conversation when he gets home from work each night! (He says women have a certain number of words they have to say each day. :) I may agree but I would need to add that those words may need to be in addition to the words spoken concerning Polly Pockets, Legos, poo-poo, trains, swimming, and why some men choose to have long hair and earrings!)
On Wednesday night we drove to my grandpa's house for dinner. It takes just under an hour to get there and on the way home it was dark and everyone was zonked. Donny fell asleep immediately (thank goodness I was driving! ha!) and the kids asked to listen to "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. If you haven't heard this song or really listened to it DO SO TODAY. It is song #1 on a CD that Mel made me and the kids have been listening to that CD for 3 months now, over and over and over again in the car. Well, I gladly put it on and we just rocked out in worship. All three of us sang at the top of our lungs and even got to drumming to the beat pretty well too. I was so thankful that my kids, at ages seven and four, know how to love Jesus through music and are unihibited. When I looked in the rearview mirror and saw my boy raising his hands in the air in worship, I got a bit choked up. It took me twentysome years to feel "okay" expressing my love for Jesus in such a way.
After the kids and I sang the song several more times, they crashed, both with their heads resting on their seatbelts and their mouths wide open. [See a post from earlier in the summer for a picture example of how they sleep in the car! :)] It was dark outside and quite in the car - something that is rare in our family. As I drove through downtown Dallas, seeing the skyline lit up, I again got choked up. God has been working on me in the past few weeks. He is giving me a heart for this city. I don't know how, or really why. I love Lexington. I love Nicholasville. I love Wilmore. Those places are HOME. However, the more I drive around, especially in Carrollton, where our new home is, where Olivia's school is, and where our church is, I am just feeling drawn to the people there. I, on my own, cannot make a difference there, but Jesus in me and in my family can. I don't know what that looks like but I have a feeling it is going to be big. And THAT is exciting. To be a part of what Jesus is doing is right where I want to be.
Now, saying that doesn't mean that any of this move has been particulary easy. It hasn't, for me, anyway. I am amazed at how our kids are adjusting, and doing so at such a rapid pace. Olivia can't wait for school to start on Monday and they both are embracing the new things around here. They were listing the TX friends they have and were delighted that the names filled up their white board! (Mind you, our entire family and the entire Weece family of 6 was on there but, hey, the BOARD WAS FILLED!) [*Side note: Only God could have set up the plan to have us and the Weece's (our KY pastor's brother and his family from OK) move less than a mile apart this summer! Another way He is showing that His hand is guiding us.*] Donny has adjusted to a new job, town, and group of coworkers like it is nothing. I am so proud of how he has jumped in and shown them what he is made of! Me, on the otherhand, I am the one who struggles. The one who feels lonely. The one who cried all the way to the city pool yesterday because in KY we always meet friends at the pool not go just the 3 of us. This doesn't mean that I am moping around at every moment and not willing to try anything new. It just means that I continuously have to "put on my big girl panties" (to quote a friend's mom), roll my sleeves up and step up to the challenge. I have no doubt that I will come out of this "valley" stronger and more in tune with Jesus than ever before.
I had made lots of KENTUCKY plans for our family - the friends who our kids would grow up with, the teachers they would have at Wilmore Elementary, the neighborhoods I would like to move into, the ways I would like to serve at church, etc. However, I am NOT the real maker of plans. I know that but it is my nature to plan and so, plan I do...
God, on the other hand, IS the plan maker. His plan for our family did not include staying in Kentucky forever. I know His plans are best and am so willing to follow it is just tricky. In fact, a few weeks ago when the kids and I were back in KY and I was sitting in the seats at church, I thought, "I always imagined Olivia getting baptized here." It was a passing thought. Just a few days after we returned to TX, Liv said, "Mom, I want to get baptized." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She has always been so faith-filled and automatically turns to prayer when there is a problem but hasn't mentioned baptism much before because she was scared to go under water. :) She asked Jesus into her heart at age 5 and has such a sweet relationship with him. So...we've been talking daily and nightly about baptism and she has decided she wants to be baptized in our new pool. What better use for it? Donny was baptized in a lake and I in a river so why not a pool? She wants a celebration and we fully support that. What bigger decision will she make? Her eyes lit up when she said she was going to invite all of her family and her KY friends. My heart sank. Why would Jesus put this desire in her heart as soon as we moved far away from all of our family and friends??!! She also wants to invite her entire class (remember, she knows none of them yet...) and all of the people she has met here (they include the Jehovah Witness family, the Hindu Family, and others!). I pray that she stays this way and is never hindered or afraid to share her faith and love for her Savior. She is currently working on a little journal where she is writing each day reasons why she wants to be baptized or what being baptized means. Pure sweetness.
OK, enough randomness...good thing you are not forced to read all of this, or even worse, forced to be stuck in my head with all these thoughts! Ha!